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Community Spotlight: Xenia Marie Ross Viray

Community Spotlight: Xenia Marie Ross Viray

April 07, 2021

 

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your body of work.

My name is Xenia, a greek name which roughly means 'kindness to strangers because they might be gods/goddesses.' I once owned a brick and mortar shop and had a career as a fashion writer and shoe buyer, but after a series of synchronicities and some serious self-inquiry, I now call myself a multidimensional artist and space holder.

So much of my work is about undoing the limiting intellectual frameworks that we are taught to fit ourselves into and to create spaces and experiences for us to discover more of who we really are, which I believe is mystical, sensitive and compassionate.

Right now a big part of my work is reading human design charts, but I also write and teach workshops on whatever I am learning that helps me see things in new and freeing ways. (A few months ago I did a class on the inbuilt subjectivity of spoken languages). The throughline in all of my work is reimagining how we experience the world, through a compassionate and multidimensional lens. I feel like all of humanity is going through a transformation and facing the parts of our culture, systems and psyche that are toxic and inhumane so we can create a world that reflects our true nature, which is generosity, creativity and transformation.

What is your origin story? Where and how you grew up, and how that influenced the work that you do today.

I was born in the Philippines but had to come to the US when I was 2 because my mother's family was fleeing martial law. I don't remember much about the Philippines but I am sure being ripped from my homeland and going on an 18 hour long flight at that age stays with me. Legend has it I screamed my head off the whole way here.

I was raised in North Jersey and the suburbs of Philadelphia, or as I like to say, I grew up in the mall. I am the eldest of three sisters and I learned to take responsibility for others at a really early age, and I am only learning now at 38 how to be more responsible for myself and less responsible for what is not mine.

My nuclear family is Roman Catholic so there was a sort of love of prayer, mysticism, symbolism and singing in my upbringing. Although colonization tore my lineage from its indigenous roots I did some digging and most indigenous Philippine tribes believed in some form of animism: which is essentially a belief that everything is alive and has a spirit, and I am super into that idea. It’s like the ancient version of quantum physics which says, everything is energy mixed with an intimacy with nature.

What I take from my background is a love of informality, a deep understanding that social norms are highly negotiable, and that “going to church” is really about getting together and being moved by what is essentially creativity (the singing, the incense, the stained glass) and the energy of people trying to process loss, grief and wanting to be close to god, or the universe or whatever you want to call it is really powerful and palpable. Also, there is a sort of inborn sense of humor in most Philippine culture, a tendency towards friendliness, helpfulness and humility that I really love. Oh and so much singing! A deep love of singing. So in short, mysticism, creativity and trying not to take myself too seriously.

 

 Photography by Michael O'Shea

 

Where do you currently live, and how does your community inform/ influence your work?

I now live in Brooklyn and I have been here since I turned 18. One thing I love about New York is that I am never afraid I will stick out. You are never the most eccentric person on the block here. You can dress however you want, or have some super niche interest, and there will be community for you. There is such natural diversity of cultures here so I am constantly checking myself on my false assumptions and where I need to learn to ask more questions about people, because you can actually interact with so many kinds of people in a day here, so that’s taught me how much I don’t know. Also I think being here has really taught me to appreciate nature and simple things like quiet, open skies and fields of grass.

What led you to start your journey in the healing arts, and how long have you been doing it?

I remember being three or four and playing with dandelion stems and turning them into spirals in rainwater, which I now realize was playing with ancient symbols and flower medicine, so in a lot of ways I think most of us understood healing + energy really intrinsically as children.

But in terms of my adult life, I really attribute my spiritual path to one particular psychic reading with a medium named Hank. A friend of mine who is super skeptical saw him because she was part of an art show where people made pieces about their experience with a medium. She told me about it, and I immediately said I wanted to go see him.

He took a look at my energy and told me about a lot of family dynamics and ways I was operating that weren’t really true to me, without me really saying anything to him. I felt so seen, and just resonated so much with what he was saying on a deep level. After that I started to allow more of myself to come back online. The year I had that reading, butterflies were everywhere, almost harassing me, even indoors (which I actually really miss.)

Having that knowing of the spirit realm and working with this psychic changed me and taught me to see the whole world and myself so differently.

Since then, I wanted to learn everything I could about ancient and esoteric wisdom. I started training in Reiki, (during one initiation, I randomly reunited with a friend from middle school who was also in that same group of five) took an earth-based magic class with Cathy Towle who also works with the UN Spiritual council, I did a semester of astrology school, took tarot class with Lindsay Mack, and just learning to read the signs and synchronicities of the world in a different way.

In my own practice with clients I learned I was able to move energy just by holding space for my clients to be heard and centered in our conversations, and I often found I could reconnect clients with their creative child self and support their creative power through listening intuitively and working on them energetically. I did my Human Design training in 2018, and have been practicing ever since, although to be honest, I feel most like me, when I am just teaching intuitively and fluidly whatever wants to come out.

What makes your working and creation environment special to you?

I was living with almost no space for about 7 years with a partner up until now, and we recently got our own bedrooms, lol. The freedom of having a door I can shut is something I can appreciate on a deep level. I have plants and a giant vessel of water that I always write my intentions on in my room. The quiet, the solitude, and the plants are really all I need to feel good and creative in my space. (And of course, my cat!)

What words of advice would you give to an aspiring -entrepreneur, artist, designer, healer etc that is wanting to get started?

My advice is always to go towards where the passion and joy are. And to be allowed to transform and ideate, and also to stop trying to figure out what will happen five years down the road. When we do that we really can’t pay attention to what life is trying to show us through synchronicities and connections.

For example, I got my first fashion writing job through a babysitting gig when I was 18 years old. I just really got along with the family and it changed my life. I feel like it’s useful to stop conceptualizing the individual’s job to figure out the whole universe and instead try to nurture where our joy and passion and curiosity is showing us there is something for us, seeing our particular sacred gift and part and trying to believe and nurture what comes most naturally to us. I feel like that is actually what leads us to using our gifts in service.

 

 

Do you have any suggestions for beginning one’s own healing journey?

For me, I think looking at what you loved to do as a kid is a great starting point. There’s a type of modality, practitioner or creative practice for everyone, but we are all so unique. And learning to trust ourselves is the first step (and an on-going step!), so I recommend following people’s work who you are naturally drawn to before you start to work with them, to feel out who is a resonance match for you. The second thing I would suggest is to take a look at your lineage for the gifts and the wounds. Do you have a tendency to overgive? Maybe your ancestors had a huge loss. A tendency to not rest? There is so much to remember and discover in terms of gifts and also potential intergenerational wounds when we get curious about where we come from.

What's your ritual? Especially what are some of your most important self care rituals?

I have been trying to intellectualize a little less and feel a little more, so something I love to do is just go outside and feel the sun on my face for ten minutes. That helps me check in with my body and helps me leave myself alone - no analysis, no trying to change things. I really believe our bodies are highly intelligent and so is our energy body and sometimes we just need space by a big tree or some water or sun to restore. My second favorite is a salt bath because salt neutralizes energy and being in water really helps me feel like I am taking a moment to reset my heart.

Do you have any favorite spiritual tools, plants, herbs, crystals, and how you prefer to work with them?

I have a deep love of incense! I just love it. My favorite is copal because of a teacher Nicole Adriana Casanova and if you haven’t smelled nice amber, you need to! I like incense because when I fill a room with smoke (safely) I really feel this happy energy, like I have made a real space for my heart to land and my happiest guides and ancestors to come sit with me. I can really feel that. I also have a special relationship with passionflower, which my friend Ashley River Brant tattooed as medicine on me.

Tell us about things you incorporate into your day/life that help you feel more connected with yourself and your community.

I actually have family nearby, so I hang out with my two year old niece and her infant sister and if it's nice out we sing songs and go to the river. I am also in the habit of asking my mom and dad stories about their childhoods and lives before they had us so I feel like we can have quality time even if we can’t all get together and hug each other.

What is your favorite product or service you offer?

I think right now I really love human design and also business consultations, lol. I love listening to people’s ideas and helping them refine their vision so they can bring it to life. There’s something really sacred about holding space while someone tells you how they want to bring their dreams into form.

What is the most fulfilling aspect for you about doing this work?

The best thing to hear is that people feel seen or like they have more permission to be who they already are when they work with me. I have witnessed some real transformations in some of my clients, from seeing them own their own gifts as artists or practitioners and just seeing them blossom and grow to do the things they always wanted to do.

What are some of your biggest challenges you’ve encountered so far and how have you overcome them?

My biggest challenge is being someone who has worked and created small businesses during a time when culture, technology and the economy is in constant flux. There seems to be some bizarre expectations of what a small business or a human being can deliver because people are used to amazon or big corporations and being born in 83, while social media is a part of my life now, I didn’t grow up with it and I am so glad because the culture of comparison and constant output feels really tough sometimes. But to be real, the big challenges have been when I see that something I am doing just isn’t working out - and learning to accept and let go of what I am holding onto if/when it is not giving me joy or helping me make a living. Learning how to value my work, and honor myself is still an ongoing challenge, because of some ancestral beliefs that hard work and suffering are somehow noble.

I overcame some of those things when I had a business everyone loved (except me) in my brick and mortar and it taught me, when we really serve the world well, it is because there is something we can do, a gift we have that we love to offer, that is also something someone needs. You have to factor your own life into the equation to create a product or service that really serves everyone.

 

 

What is bringing you the most joy right now?

I just love my cat Paco. A while ago I wrote an IG post about how pets teach us we can absolutely be loved for just existing, and it went viral for a day. That’s the power of unconditional simple love. I think receiving and giving love and being gentle is who most of us really are, but we are taught that is an unsafe or really naive way to be, and our pets teach us, it is actually deeply wise and profound.

Who are some of your favorite spiritual workers, artists, and or designers that you are inspired by?
I really love Juliet Obodo who is a hypnotherapist who also talks about limiting beliefs due to racism, and also the work of Aniwa which gathers indigenous elders from all over the world to share their work, which is the work of stewarding the earth, understanding energy and compassion. I also love the work of Mama Medicine who could see auras since she was a small child, Edas, (what a wildly multi-talented designer!)

Do you have any books or podcast recommendations you would like to share or any other links to share with the community?

You know, Lee Harris’s energy updates really helped me get through the early part of the shutdown, so I always like to share them because Lee Harris is one of those wildly mystical people who really reinforces being grounded, balanced and understanding that the human experience is to be just as treasured and valued as the soul or spiritual part of us. If you are really out there, I also love Maryam Hasnaa’s New Earth Mystery School. It is really a magical community. A great starter video for her work is here.

What are some of your favorite products at Ritual Shoppe?

There are so many good ones but these are the special pieces and treasures I really am in love with right now!

1. The Artie Ring
2. Beeswax Incense Candles
3. Dune Incense Holder
4. Supa Phreek Sunglasses
5. Gilded Velvet Journal

 

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